


The Katsuki-Nikiforov-Plisetsky Family, Signing Off

by Bam4Me



Series: Dress Shopping [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Asexual!Phichit, Cause he can't fucking read english, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Genderfluid!Yuuri, Genderqueer!Yuuri, Group chat, M/M, Masculine Presenting Genderqueer!Victor, Texting, Trans!Yurio, Victor can', Yuuri and Victor have adopted Yurio, binders, t text to save his life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 07:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9310424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/pseuds/Bam4Me
Summary: Chats are fun, especially when your family loves you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yuuri keeps throwing love at Yuri cause his smol son needs his love and cuddles and it's important. Yuri pretends to hate it, but Yuuri is his fave now.
> 
> iwriteshitficsyoi.tumblr.com
> 
> Hover over text to see translation.

Yuri groaned, trying to pick apart the piles of clothes on his floor to find his binder -the only white binder he had, because he doesn’t freaking wear binders normally, they’re bad for skating in- and almost died when he slipped on a book.

 

He thought about going out to the living room to ask Yuuri -because Yuuri was the one that always made him get his clothes together every week for laundry, but they’ve all been busy lately- but he still remembers the last time he went into the living room and found Yuuri sitting on Victor’s lap with Victor’s tongue down his throat.

 

Gross.

 

He grabbed his phone instead, opening up the text screen so he could message them instead, not wanting to risk seeing anything.

 

**Yuri: Where’s my white binder?**

 

He waited a second for the reply, and got one, from someone he wasn’t actually expecting.

 

**Phichit: You know this is group chat, right?**

 

Yuri looked at the top of the screen and realized it was group chat, but shrugged, not really caring. Maybe if they were talking to multiple people, Yuuri and Victor would act child appropriate for once.

 

**Victor: wats goin on?**

 

**Yuri: I can’t find my white binder.**

 

**Victor: ask Yuuri, hes the only one who knows how 2 do laundry**

 

**Guang: wat sunect was the binder 4?**

 

**Yuri: huh?**

 

**Guang: lik, was it math or science???**

 

**Yuri: …**

 

**Yuuri: omf wow**

 

**Guang: WAT????**

 

**Yuri: it’s not that kind of a binder, dude**

**Phichit: I’m laughing so hard right now, omfg.**

 

**Yuri: Om my fuck I can HEAR THOSE ASSHOLES LAUGHING IN THE LIVING ROOM**

 

**Yuri: [Image: Yuuri and Victor on the couch, laughing so hard they’re crying a little.] [Image of Yuri’s foot shoving at Victor’s leg while he giggles.]**

 

**Guang: so confused, wats happening?**

 

**Phichit: He’s looking for his CHEST binder, not school**

 

**Guang: i thot he used sports bras?**

 

**Yuuri: He has a date tomorrow and doesn’t want to wear that.**

 

**Yuri: I’ll literally murder you.**

 

**Yuuri: He says that but he’s literally sitting on the couch with Czar and Makkachin in his lap. He looks all sweet giving them cuddles.**

 

**Victor: u text real long**

 

**Yuuri: That took you three minutes to type?????**

 

**Victor: english is hard, i hate, i cant read it well**

 

**Yuuri: Turn on autocorrect??**

 

**Victor: chooses wrong words**

 

**Phichit: Are you two texting while in the same room?**

 

**Yuri: Worse. Yuuri’s SITTING on him.**

 

**Phichit: Didn’t know you played like that, boi.**

 

**Victor:[Юра, мама смеется над папочкой, защити меня](iwriteshitficsyoi.tumblr.com)**

 

**Yuri:[Не в твоей жизни Виктор. Перестань называть себя папочкой.](iwriteshitficsyoi.tumblr.com)**

**Phichit: Now all of us are lost.**

 

**Chris: Yuuri, do you call Victor Daddy???**

 

**Yuri: Who even put him on this chat?**

 

**Yuuri: What??????????**

 

**Chris: Victor called himself Daddy, I was wondering if you did too.**

 

**Phichit: OHMIFUCK JIM DYING!!!!**

 

**Phichit: Yuuri!!! WHY??? AND WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!!!??**

 

**Yuuri: I… I don’t call Victor Daddy. Victor calls Victor Daddy.**

 

**Yuri: Yuuri**

 

**Victor: does to dat rings?**

 

**Phichit: ...I would prefer for Victor to go back to Russian because that made literally no sense.**

 

**Victor: Fuck**

 

**Phichit: I can at least use google translate for the rest, but wow.**

 

**Victor: Fuck at**

 

**Yuri: Yuuri**

 

**Phichit: Is he cussing or asking?**

 

**Phichit: Or telling?**

 

**Yuri: YUURI**

 

**Phichit: IDKTBH**

 

**Yuri: MOM FUCKING ANSWER ME**

 

**Victor: don’t cuss mother**

 

**Yuuri: Yes, smol angry son?**

 

**Yuri: Where are my binders? Also, I locked myself out of the house.**

 

**Victor: binders aren’t outside??**

 

**Yuuri: [Image: Yuri standing outside with leaves in his hair, glaring at Yuuri through the window.]**

 

**Phichit: God, I really wished I lived with you guys. Can I stay over for a weekend? Or life?**

 

**Yuri: Fucking hell, he kept me out there for FIVE MINUTES!!!**

 

**Yuri: Where the hell did your husband go?**

 

**Yuuri: Did you check outside?**

 

**Yuri: If I go outside again, you’ll lock the door and take more pictures.**

 

**Yuuri: I’m in SHOCK that my son would think so lowly of me.**

 

**Yuuri: Though, yes, I would.**

 

**Yuri: Where are my binders?**

 

**Otabek: I think the white one is at my place????? [Image of white binder sitting on floor in bathroom.]**

 

**Guang: OH THAT KIND OF BINDER!!!!!!!**

**Victor:[Юра, тебе больше не разрешается ходить в гости к Отабеку. Если я когда-нибудь увижу тебя возле моего сына, тебе конец.](iwriteshitficsyoi.tumblr.com)**

 

**Yuri: Chill, Victor, we were only watching movies.**

 

**Victor: BINDER CAME OFF?????**

 

**Otabek: I made him take it off, because he always falls asleep during movies and it’s unhealthy for him.**

 

**Chris: A likely story.**

 

**Yuuri: I don’t think you’re helping, Chris.**

 

**Chris: Who said I was trying???**

 

**Yuuri: Victor is pouting. Yurio is still missing two binders. Are they with you, Otabek?**

 

**Otabek: If they were, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to say, I’m terrified of your husband.**

 

**Victor: Fuck your face.**

 

**Yuuri: Victor, love of my life.**

 

**Yuuri: Father of our teenage son.**

 

**Yuuri: My reason for getting up in the morning.**

 

**Phichit: *snorting***

 

**Yuuri: My sweet. Mine. No one elses.**

 

**Victor: …**

 

**Yuuri: Can you make me a pot of tea? And get Yurio some snacks?**

 

**Victor: divorce**

 

**Yuri: Oh my fucking god.**

 

**Phichit: IM CRYING, YUURI PLZ!!!!**

 

**Yuuri: You guys think that Victor is all upset at that, but he’s doing it, so I win. [Image of Victor’s back as he searches the cupboards in kitchen for tea kettle.]**

 

**Phichit: Relationship goals.**

 

**Yuri: Gross**

 

**Yuuri: Gross he says, even as he gives me snuggles with the kitty. [Image of Yuri curled up under Yuuri’s arm with Czar in his lap.]**

 

**Yuri: Does anyone else want to adopt me? I’ll be good, I promise. *crossing fingers***

 

**Chris: I’ll do it!!!**

 

**Yuri: Nevermind, that’s not the kind of adult I want.**

 

**Chris: I’m HURT**

 

**Victor: Hi hurt, call me Father!**

 

 **Yuuri: The one time he uses correct English in a sentence and it’s to make a dad** **joke???????**

 

**Yuri: And it wasn’t even on me, I feel left out.**

 

**Yuuri: [Image of a delicate tea set on a tray with china cups and a dark black tea, which the tv plays behind it.] [Image of Victor delicately drinking tea while sitting well away from them near the fireplace, obviously upset.] [Image of Yuri shoving half a muffin in his face in one bite.]**

 

**Otabek: That’s a good photoset.**

 

**Phichit: Relationship goals, life goals. Keep them far from me and give me all the food.**

 

**Chris: How is that goals?**

 

**Yuuri: He doesn’t want snuggles unless he knows he’s 100% safe from bad touches, Chris, I’m sorry, you can never date Phichit.**

 

**Phichit: Yo. I mean, like, he can buy me shit and stuff, but I can’t cuddle unless you somehow become asexual overnight.**

 

**Yuri: No one here likes only girls, do they?**

 

**Mila: I do!!! Cute pics of Yura, Yuuri!!**

 

**Yuuri: I know, he’s perfect and I love him even when he’s being a dork because he’s the best boy ever!!! My son!!**

 

**Yuri: I’m not sure why I play along with this crap.**

 

**Yuuri: [Picture of Yuri blushing and hiding behind Makkachin, but pulled into Yuuri’s side for a selfie. Yuuri is looking at Yuri like he’s amazing.]**

 

**Victor: why is not my picture?**

 

**Yuri: You’re on the wrong side of the room.**

 

**Victor: [Image of Victor with Yuuri and Yuri on the same couch, Makkachin is almost entirely covering all of them.]**

 

**Mila: That one should go on insta.**

 

**Yuuri: He’s putting it on insta. Also, I think it’s time for bed. (For Yurio at least.)**

 

**Yuri: Fuck off, mom.**

 

**Victor: I’m cry, my son.**

 

**Yuuri: He means me, hun.**

 

**Victor: I SAYED THAT!!!**

 

**Yuuri: Said. Please turn on autocorrect babe.**

 

**Yuuri: [Image of Yuri laying on the couch with his head in Yuuri’s lap, asleep with Czar on his chest.]**

 

**Yuuri: Great, now I’m stuck here for the night.**

 

**Phichit: Yeah, everyone knows you’re not allowed to move when cats fall asleep on you.**

 

**Phichit: You’ve been chosen.**

 

**Yuuri: [Image of Yuri on couch with a pillow under his head instead. Makkachin is sleeping on his legs.] The removal was a success.**

 

**Victor: Bed now. Night.**

 

**Chris: Night!!**

 

**Phichit: Sweet dreams.**

 

**Guang: Oh thank god, I can finally go back to sleep. Night!**

 

**Mila: And an especially good night to you, Yuuri. Thanks for the pics!**

**Author's Note:**

> iwriteshitficsyoi.tumblr.com
> 
> If you can't read the Russian text: 
> 
> Юра, мама высмеивает папочку, защити меня - Yuri, mommy is making fun of daddy defend me!
> 
>  
> 
> Не в твоей жизни Виктор. Перестань называть себя папочкой. - Not on your life, Victor. Stop calling yourself Daddy.
> 
>  
> 
> Юра, тебе больше не разрешается ходить в гости к Отабеку. Если я когда-нибудь увижу тебя возле моего сына, тебе конец. - Yuri, you're never allowed to go over to Otabek's house again, if I ever see you near my son, you're going to die.
> 
> Small secret: Yurio actually fell out of a window reaching for something in a tree (was it his binder??? Quite possibly) and didn't wanna tell Yuuri that so he said he locked himself out.


End file.
